I'm having one of my depressive moments, probably comes from being a tiny bit ill.

I did write a stream of conciousness here first of all, but I don't like how emo my mind gets when its allowed to feed off of its own emotions. Better to just stick with a mask.

I'm used to those.


I guess the one I use the most is the "Fuck the world, I'll do what I like" one, works quite well I'm inclined to believe it myself quite often. Hell for all I know right now that's the real me and right now I'm just indulging that whiny part of myself I usually keep tied up and gagged in the back of my mind.

One thing is for sure though, regardless of what part of my mind I listen to its becoming quite clear that none of them like people. Individuals I can like, hell I think I even feel love and hate for some people, but as a group people turn my stomach. Humanity as a whole is made up of arrogant gits with all the charm, whit and brains of a maggot. I should know I'm a big enough arrogant git when it comes right down to it. Look at me now, I'm setting myself in judgement over the majority of humanity and stereotyping them - can you get more arrogant?

So what dose this mean? I don't like people, whoop de do! Guess what pall, lots of people don't like people as a whole. Yeh, and how many of them care about other people despite not liking them? Hum? Its not that I dislike them, I actually hate them. And hate is an attractive force, it draws you towards that which you hate. That's why I get angry at the stupidity, the will full stupidity, I see around me. There lives could be so much better if only they...

Hah! And now we come to the main problem: I know damn well I would probably be just as bad as anybody else at power. I could dictate to people how to run there lives and probably mess them up even worse than they are doing themselves. Just like every other person who gives into the voice saying: "Your better than them, make them better themselves". You can't make people better, they have to make themselves better. So the only person you can improve is yourself.


Well now, don't I go off on one when I'm tired, a little ill and depressed? If I ever get a psychologist they will have a field day with this drivel.

Wonder if anybody will read this shit? Meh, I guess I can see why people take drugs now.

Gits

Ah its been more than a year since I updated this journal.

Right, enjoying some delicious pasta - Really surprised how good Pizza Hut is these days.
Got somebody cute interested in me, I think anyway, bah.
Modding GTA IV is going well, there going to be releasing 3D model importers soon by the sounds of it, might even have a go myself with Z-Modeler.
Sims 3 rocks, the online store sucks, but thank god for the modding community.
My computer has had a couple of upgrades over the course of the year, now running very well in all games... ..bar some weird glowing trees and transparent hair in Sims 3 - Probably need to update Catalyst drivers, wee.
I've been roped into joining Facebook, its as bad as I was expecting but some of the stuff is useful. Still don't know whats wrong with email myself though.
Mobile broadband sucks arse - that's not an opinion, its a fact.
Seen a Jetstream SC250 on the road at college, bright orange - actually looks quite good in life a lot better than in pics.


Right then, oh and got coppies of ALL of Red Dwarf now, Woo Hoo!

I hate colds. But at least the one I have right now is gradually shifting.


Right, updates:

1: I have and have been using my EEE for a while now and I love it to bits, its indestructible.
2: I bought a second hand G3 iBook, FOR MY GRAN BEFORE YOU POINT AND MOCK.
3: I bought a 500GB portable HDD, so I now carry enough films and games to keep me entertained constantly.
4: I Played Death in the last show at college, hehe always fun to play anthropomorphic personifications of entropy.

ARG!

One week ago, to the day, my palm was stolen.


Still no sign of it, which anoys me because there's no way they can get anything for it, you cant make any use of it unless you know the unlock code. Some shite for brains probably just smashed it up.

I'm a naturally vengeful person, but whoever this little git is, I will kill, slowly if possible.



I am getting a replacement, but since I had it pinched at Truro college I cant get it back on the insurance. Thus my Christmas Bursary will pay for an Asus EEE, its not much bigger but has a hell of a lot more features. Plus it runs Linux out of the box, so that's another big plus.

[link]

Just for a laugh I made my own, thought some might be interested in having a look at my view of my opinions of various cars.

These arn't judgements on how good the cars are, just there level of coolness. Hence why the Alfa is at the top. God its hot.


Anyway, done my project last week and now revising for History essay on Monday.